Dear Problems Journal

If anyone wants me to post here, I can.

I got upset, people acted secretly that someone wanted to kill someone if they were nice to me cuza I felt agitated the other night.  So, I retaliated in my imagination.  Then, I did away with the next assuming it'd attack me.  I got upset someone actually did something, maybe just a bit sensitive, taking a walk and a bit tired.  I quickly shut up about that.  Supposedly, these people could just be playing around, pretending someone said this.  I realized it just meant something else, not meaning something okay of course.  I moved around and people could tell something I thought that wasn't good.  I think something else happened and that's it.

So, the moral of the story is to ignore things like this if you can't think of it cuz it's too much at you.  Something wasn't right and I was certainly not prepared nor think I should have to be other than that people are watching me in private.  I mean, that'd be abnormal and take up time.

Onto other things?

Oh, I must realize that I should not think I deserve attention from some people or something, tho they seem to give it and get mad sometimes.  I dunno.  If someone is older, it's not for me to say cuz I dunno.  If they are younger, I need to care.  Why don't people trust me with my race?

Okay, so..

Messing With Me

They're trying to get me to turn on to people in ways I don't want to.

Problem

They won't stop bothering me!

More

I wonder if they want me to have to fill out word captchas to post here.

They are rubbing in in extreme ways that someone else has my relationships.

Problem

They "mixed" the talking experimenters with someone I know trying to edge me each day to feel mixed up as tho in a blender from my parents and with their races.

Issue

I disagree with what they do, and they took away a relationship.

Issue

I was upset and have 2 relationships and now it's like 1 has taken the back seat.

Issue

I'm being teased that older ladies will abuse me all the time or each day even.

More

It seems I am being picked on continuously from before in more intense or suggestive ways.

Issue

I feel pressured that I did something.

I think I just didn't like the people around me (how they were being mean to me) and was upset at being told to feel someone in a way I don't want to or doesn't exist a lot, and that did it supposedly.  That's very unusual, to be told to feel that person so much in a way I dislike.  I didn't even say anything mean back, and I find this very out-of-place.  Maybe, I'm just mean in general in how I feel about people being mean to me.

I'm being told I don't have a relationship anymore.  I wonder if I should have stayed home but not for my sake.  I know I gained weight from resting for my hurt back.  Huh.  I should reinstate a workout schedule today.  I was out other days late.  It probably helped me tho to go out.  Last time I didn't get skinny was from going to morning masses instead of exercising then or other than jogging much later on.

Issue

They are messing with my possible future babies racially etc. and like psyching it out.

They seem to..

They seem to have something against me.

Edit

I deleted a post.

Involved?

Remember before?

Problem

People keep preventing me from having relationships.  That's none of their business.

Problem

Someone keeps getting in the way of my relationships.

Problem

They are hitting hard and a poster just said, "No."

Problem

I can see myself being shelved away according to generation and other people getting it better.  They are putting together very young and very old people together, like not the same generation.

Problem

I can feel the sin in my dad being more involved in my life than before.

Problem

My dad is supposed to be gone and I went out and heard him say about my left, "OK, and what else do you want to do to your tomb tomorrow?"

cont.

They also went ahead and hit something important.

Problem

They said someone I like is sending me physical threats affecting my body.

More

They are still bothering me.

They are trying to disillusion me and tell me I'm out, basically.

Issue

They won't stop bothering me.

Setting Me Off

They are telling me I have nothing left to lose.

Problem

They are invading me physically where sensitive.

Issue

These people should not be involved in my life like this.  They don't talk to me appropriately.

Problem

They won't stop.

Problem

This feeling is staying.

Fighting Me

They said tackily "Well.. no."

Problem

They are sticking with it, saying I submit to things that I dislike or are uncool.  They want me to get cozy like I'm a dork.

More

They just said I can't ever have my relationship back.

Unpleasant Feelings

They are pushing me to other people in hurtful ways.

Whatever Happens

They are the bad ones.

Problem

I think some people dictated for this to happen.  They are definitely involved in ways they should not be.

Problems

There are people experimenting on me spying on me in my room being mean.

My mom came in my room with her laptop to execute something with me, and I was just in a bad mood with something to write, which I later forgot, a problem.  I still feel it.  I think it has to do with making me feel someone in a way I don't want, which doesn't happen, supposedly by someone I like.

They are acting like I should not exist and be the child of someone else other than my mom.

They think I am bad and are gonna have someone I like be mean to me at any point of will.

I told my mom I was in a bad mood, as she just sat there and tried to tickle me in a mean way, like she didn't know, pretending and lying.

I know later my dad came in the room synchronized with me in a gay way, the day after.

I'm getting more signs today.